Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Sister Seuss sums up Waterworld for a numpty

Sister Seuss sums up Waterworld for a numpty: There are no golf courses after global warming wins. Seriously, no golf courses. None at all.
Sister Seuss is not a scientist, so you can believe her.

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Be a good Prisoner (Remember to report all Unmutual Citizens to Number Forty-Five)

Your attention please. Here is an important announcement. Buttons should not be read as political statements. Any citizen doing so will declared unmutual. Any unsocial incident involving such an unmutual citizen should be reported immediately to the Appeals Subcommittee. Thank you for your attention.

I am not saying that we all are prisoners...

Monday, October 9, 2017

Nick Farrell is mean to the Alt-Right (and they are upset about it)

Yesterday, in a howl Nick Farrell wrote a Facebook group moderator post about the posts that would get you banned from one of the Golden Dawn Facebook groups that he moderates. One of the things on the list was posting Alt-Right stuff. And his howl was met with screams that he was being unfair to the Alt-Right; and that by not mentioning the Alt-Left, he must somehow be supporting the Alt-Left.

Personally, as a fellow moderator of that particular GD FB group, I thought that backlash was ridiculous. First off, it is the Alt-Right posts that people keep trying to make that are the issue. Second, I haven't been seeing any Alt-Left posts in the pending stack. Third, the Alt-Left is a myth of the Alt-Right, who just assume that those who hate them are somehow organized beyond the Punch the Nazi level. Fourth, if Alt-Left posts were found in the pending stack, I would reject them (as well as Nick) simply because that particular GD FB group tries to remain focused on magic, and not on bovine end-products.

[If you are an Alt-Right, there is a Golden Dawn Facebook group ran by David Griffin which will totally let you post Alt-Right stuff. I am not sure if Griffin is an Alt-Right supporter, but he sure seems to hold their political position. In fact, the quickest way to get banned from his GD FB group is to be a liberal, and to tell him that his Alt-Right views are full bovine end-product goodness. And his GD FB group seems to be 100% about politics and 0% about magic, so there is a place for you.]

In response to the outrage that he was being unfair, and is somehow a member of the Alt-Left, Nick Farrell wrote a blog post. He wrote: 

"Some people think that the issue is political and you should not be talking about politics on a Golden Dawn chat group anyway.  While there is some truth in this, for me the issue is NOT political at all. Alt-Right ideas are not political at all but are the antithesis of everything the Golden Dawn represents.

Stripping away “political” ideas of alt-right we are still left with the following fundamental beliefs which are alien to the core of the Golden Dawn:
  • The superiority of white males.
  • Hatred of Jews and Muslims and homosexuals.
  • A misogynistic opposition to “feminism” which is a call for women to adopt traditional roles."
You can read the rest of his blog post on his blog: Sorry, you can't be Alt-Right and a member of the Golden Dawn.

If Alt-Right is banned, why not Alt-Left?

Executive branch stages a political stunt (Take a knee)

All hail the masters of political stunts, smoke and mirrors, the mighty Trump administration.

Gregg Doyel, sports columnist for the Indianapolis Star, believes that Vice President Mike Pence purposely went to a football game just so that Pence could walk out in outrage.

"What, you think he didn't know the 49ers would kneel on Sunday? Pence knew. The 49ers are the one franchise, the only franchise, that have had at least one player kneel before every game since Colin Kaepernick was the first to do it in the 2016 preseason. Kaepernick played for the 49ers, of course."

And I think he is right. After all, the press pool was told to stay in the van because Pence wouldn't be there long. 

This whole football players are evil traitors for taking a knee during the National Anthem is just a way for President Donald Trump to say that #blacklivesmatter does not matter and is unAmerican (in other words, he is a white supremacist). And to distract us from all the other crap that his administration is doing.

When I swore my oath to protect this country and its Constitution, it wasn't just the Freedom of Speech for those people that the President liked that I was promising to protect--it was all speech (even that of f***ing Nazis and racists)--therefore, this protest, this taking of the knee, was part of what I was promising to protect. Just because the all-mighty Donald "Jesus" Trump and Mike "altar boy" Pence do not like the protest does not make it wrong. If we have to tolerate the hate speech of white supremacists, then we also have to tolerate this form of free speech.

And if you think that just because the President says it is wrong, that it is...well, you are being played. Either that or you are a racist Nazi. If you don't know which one you are, just ask yourself, "What if Hillary Clinton would have said this? Would you still be outraged? Or would you totally support the kneeling players because the devil said they were evil?"

What's next? Nuking a football game in the name of patriotism?

Friday, October 6, 2017

Cthulhu waits dreaming in his house at Rlyeh (RAEBNC Halloween Kitty)

A fun RAEBNC to drop into discussions is "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl."

It is fun to say. Say it with me, "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl." Again: "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl!" And once more, "PH'NGLUI MGLW'NATH CTHULHU R'LYEH WGAH'NAGL!"

That was fun, wasn't it?

And it is a great answer to those wonderful questions that get asked in forums populated by know-it-all numpties.

Ex. What is the greatest secret of the Adept Minor Grade of golden Dawn? They don't want to hear that exposure to the Vault of the Adepts, as in actually standing inside the Vault and being initiated, is the greatest secret of the 5=6 Grade. Furthermore, they (the howling babble of numpties**, that is) dont' want to be lectured that the Adept Minor Grade is not actually a Golden Dawn Grade, but rather a Grade of the RR et AC (Roseae Rubeae et Aureae Crucis***). No, they don't want answers like that; if they did, they would not be numpties.

No, tell them that "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl*" is the greatest secret of the Adept Minor Grade. And if they ask you what it means, tell them that things like literal meaning, dogma and doctrine are prisons that restrict one's spiritual development and that the best way to understand Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl is through free-association.

For instance--Behold its true greatness unfolded: "Phone home nasty Gollum, leap up intensely. Magic glows like white nuggets against fiery hotness. Cats think humans use laser hosting utilities. Ravenous leeches yummily eat hot-dogs. Warlike Godzilla attack helicopters, next attack Graded losers. For Holiness touches aggressive great numpties.****"

[*Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl according to the fictional stories of the Cthulhu Mythos (created by H.P. Lovecraft and other fiction writers) roughly means "In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming." Despite what some believe, H.P. Lovecraft was not an occultist; that has not stopped some occultists from using stuff from the Mythos stories--after all, occultism is the original "If the shiny bits are not bolted down, I am taking them" profession.

**The proper term for a group of numpties is a Babble.

***RR et AC: Rose of ruby and cross of gold--the official name of the Second Order of the Hermetic Golden Dawn.

****This is obviously not the work of a numpty, for it still makes too much sense. Trust the numpties to come up with even better versions of "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl" for your amusement.]

Public Service Announcement: Do not let your cat sleep in the Vault of the Adepts.

Instead let your cat sleep in the mouth of Cthulhu.

Thursday, October 5, 2017

Sounds like Harry Potter (RAEBNC Halloween Kitty)

An useful RAEBNC substitute is "Sounds like Harry Potter." And a lot of people use it on Facebook.

For some reason, people are not happy just recounting the magic as it actually happened.

"I lit the candle using a lighter that took me thirty minutes to find (maybe I should put lighters on the grocery list), did the Lesser Ritual of the Pentagram, screamed the divine names at the top of my lungs, set fire to the poppet, broke circle to shut off the damn smoke detector. Two days later, the Great Gherkin told a story about how someone hexed a tire off the back of a truck, almost smashing his car. Ritual must be marked down as a failure--I was trying to conjure up a new calligraphy set."

Instead they must say, "And the Archangels formed out of the mist as I dis-consecrated the graves of Doctor Dee and Kelly, their eyes tearing up as I chanted perfectly the forty-nine names of God, before sacrificing a baby to make a Horocrux. The ritual was a total success and just proves once again that I am the greatest Rosicrucian Imperator to ever live."

In all such instances, you are allowed, perhaps even required to say that the story teller's tale sounds just like something out of Harry Potter.

Harry Potter is off to quidditch practice on his Nimbus Two Thousand broom.

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Roll 2d20 (RAEBNC Halloween Kitty)

Continuing our month of random stuff to say to make people think that you care, we present Dungeons and Dragons Kitty, Cardboard Edition.

If you are anything like me, you know a lot of people online (and in real life) who had played some form of role-playing game in their life--the type with the paper maps and funny looking dice that is. Therefore, the comment "Roll 2d20" or any of its variations ("Roll 3d6") means something, even if you are just pretending to read the discussion.

For instance, earlier today, someone posted a picture of items that they dug up from the graves of children while asking whether the spirits would be upset. I think that you will agree that telling them to Roll 2d20 makes a lot of sense because they are about to take some damage.

(Information for the one poor soul that has never played any form of tabletop gaming, "2d20" means "two dice with twenty sides." And dice are rolled for anything that the Dungeon Master "DM" [or Game Master "GM"] {or any one of a hundred different titles} needs to have a random number for--the amount of damage you take, the amount of money that the Great Gherkin cons you out of, the chance of the lovely elf falling in love with your character, etc.)

When your new armor kills your Dex.