Saturday, May 19, 2018

A thousand five hundred blog posts later (what have I learned as a blogger)

Can you believe that this blog has produced 1500 blog posts since its birth on July 16, 2007?

And not all of them have been cat pictures...but maybe they should have been.

Accountant Kitty has crunched the numbers--you need more cat pictures!
Let's crunch some numbers...

First off, does occult blogging pay? Yes and no. Yes, in the fact that I have gotten money from Adsense, have sold at least one book, and moved a bunch of pottery. No, in the sense that I have made more money with less effort doing other stuff. So don't quit your day job to blog about the occult. Remember that I blog for three reasons...

One, I am a mealy mouthed poopy head.

Two, I like being the center of attention.

Three, I assume that you like my sense of humor.

Pie charts make everything more interesting...
My top ten blog posts account for seven percent of the views that this blog has gotten over the years.

So let's assume that we can learn something from them...

At number one is...

E. A. Koetting, the Living God, a single post about his arrest--which I honestly thought would get about a hundred views and no more--is responsible for a whole two percent of this blog's lifetime traffic. (And a third of my top ten traffic.) Not a month has gone by since it was written that I am not impressed by the traffic it gets.

[It should be noted that I have started to study his business practices--there are lots of "positive" things to learn from his set-up...therefore, more EAK posts are a-coming! Sure, they will not get the same amount of traffic, but I feel like I owe him a positive shout-out...that and he provides a good contrast when you talk about the business practices of other occult writers.]

My second most read post is about search engines and Google. This is also another surprise. After all, this blog is not about providing helpful advice to other bloggers.

For ease of writing, and making a pie chart--I had to make a pie chart...I like pie charts...I LOVE pie charts--I combined the numbers of the three posts about David F***ing Griffin. He shows up at slot six in my top ten, and takes up three slots...which account for less than one percent of my overall lifetime views for this blog.

Now, given the greatness of the man, I expected this number to be higher. Hell, to hear the man talk, all ten of my top ten should be Griffin. Sure he is twelve percent of my top ten, but I expected higher numbers.

[It was the fact that no post about Griffin has ever cracked the three thousand mark that made me guess that an EAK post would only get a hundred views. After all, at the time, this blog was about Golden Dawn...supposedly.]

{What this blog is about now is open to debate. If there was an air of doubt before the December re-branding, there is a positive fog of doubt now. But I am fairly sure that it has something to do with cats...}

And yes, I know that I should go though my entire list of blog posts to determine the actual value that Griffin has...but having seen that five other blog posts beat him in the top ten, I don't feel like doing it today. 

Besides, having watched my traffic on a regular basis, I have noted that Griffin only shows up lately in my keyword search data about three times a month. And no, he does not make it into my top ten search terms for this blog. I know--I am shocked too. 

[The number was never that high even when he was big-mouthing the entire Golden Dawn community--make of that what you will.]

My number three top ten is actually a poem--Lucky Penny--but it is actually the picture that drives the traffic to it. The traffic the picture gets is one of the reasons that I eventually decided that most of my blog posts need pictures.

Number four on the top ten hit parade is--drum roll please--Red Flag Magic Garden Creeper Award! Again, this was a surprise. Even more surprising is the number of "defenders" who showed up in the comment section telling me that I was completely wrong in awarding a Creeper Award...but realistically it may just be one defender using multiple accounts. And it really does not matter, you can read the screenshots for yourself. 

Of course, the most amusing part is that the Red Flag post cracked three thousand--and we all know why that amuses me.

Number five is a birthday wish to a Golden Dawn authority. Finally, something Golden Dawn shows up. But I am fairly sure that it has nothing to do with Golden Dawn, and has everything to do with the birthday cat picture used in the post.

[Is this the last time, we will see a cat picture? Stay tuned--anything can happen!]

So, we finally get to a post about Griffin--sixth slot--remember I added the numbers of three posts for the purposes of the pie chart. If you dare go look--this is my most popular David F***ing Griffin post. Try not to read anything into that fact.

Eight and ten are also Griffin.

Number seven is my favorite "Beware of bad behavior by occultists" post. It is not really a surprise that Thirteen Warning Signs That Your Guru is Rotten is in my top ten posts. As long as people insist in posting "Looking for someone to teach me!" messages in Facebook groups, I will continue to share the link to this one. This post is currently expected to fight its way into my top five by the next time, I write about my blog numbers.

We know that Griffin is eight and ten, so what is number nine? A bloody book review. How did a book review make its way into my top ten, and perform better than 1491 other posts? Simple, people Google-ing the subject of the book. Turns out that a subject with little information on it will result in long tail effects.

Speaking of Google...
...provided that you are a Virgo.
Turns out that my top ten keywords that drive traffic to my blog, eight of them are people looking for cat pictures.

Yes, it turns out that more people use Google to find cat pictures than they do to find out stuff about the Golden Dawn. Color me surprised. "Halloween Cat" easily outranked Golden Dawn.

For convenience's sake, I combined the misspellings with the proper spellings for the purposes of the pie chart. And it is easy to see that this blog needs more cat pictures.

Not only did cat pictures beat Golden Dawn, so did the term "Google."

Now, in all fairness, my top ten search keywords only counts for two percent of my lifetime page views on this blog, so there might be tons of stuff in the lower reaches that totally trumps the number of hits that cats and Google gets. On the day that I total up all the Griffin post numbers, I will also total up the views for the cats, and we will have proof who is more popular.

I am sad that Australia was not higher in the ranks.
In terms of traffic, ten countries account for eighty-one percent of my traffic. The United States accounts for fifty-seven percent, with number two Russia accounting for eight percent.

In my head, Australia is more important than it actually is. Australia, you need to step up your game. Two percent is a poor showing. Australia, you can do better.

[I have corrupted a couple of Australian Golden Dawn students--and I would like to corrupt more of them. Therefore, Australia needs to do better.]

{Do Australians like cat pictures? If so, I can provide.}

As for traffic from various platforms, Google accounts for thirteen percent of my traffic; Facebook accounts for four and a half percent. And a single blog has sent me a whole one percent of my traffic (which is not bad at all)--Head For the Red if you are curious.

So that is it for my first 1500 posts (eleven f***ing years). Here to the next 1500--of which a whole quarter must be about cats, if I am reading my data correctly.


Saturday, May 12, 2018

Remodeling update (production schedule delay)

A quick update for those who are curious about the house and yard remodeling.

The fallen tree was removed.

A metric ton of newspapers have been culled from the house.

This is despite the fact that I got sick the week and a half before the windows and doors were due to be installed. (Actually I am still slightly sick, but I did manage to get a lot of stuff done.)

Just the tip of the trash iceberg.
For those who don't know, our house is almost a hundred years old, and therefore automatically has lead paint. All of which means that everything had to be boxed up and/or wrapped in plastic.

Oh look, a thin layer of cement over brick--no wonder I can't hammer nails into the wall. 
Yes, I know that I "could have" done it "cheaper" by doing it myself. But my wife decided to spring for professionals, and who am I to argue with her? Especially given the fact that I really want to start to work on Icarus.

Here is to paying professionals to deal with the job.
The advantage of hiring professionals is that they can do it faster and better. So instead of taking a thousand years doing it myself, they managed to get the three new doors and the four upstairs windows done in three days.

Still have the four basement windows to do, but that needs to wait until I finish boxing up the basement. I have decided to do that in two stages because of how much plastic wrapping needs to be done downstairs.

We still have to get the new sidewalk in (goodbye Sidewalk of Death) and the outside painting done--it is scheduled to be done before the Fourth of July.

Both me and Khari are looking forward to the work being done, and our first garden (drumming) party later this summer.

(And I am thinking about the possibility of teaching a few occult and witchcraft classes...we will see how it goes.)

How many cats can fit in the window?
For those who are eager to see me get more stuff done (Esoteric Comedy Show, Great Gherkin/Sister Seuss, the expansion of the three officer ritual book, etc.), everything is being delayed. Besides the outside work still to be done, it has been decided that some of the rooms in the house are going to get painted, and new bookcases built--mainly because this is the first time, Khari has seen me be able to deal with such things without suffering blinding panic attacks (ask me about how meds can help).

And then there is Icarus... (which deserves its own post.) Oh yes, Icarus is coming.

Are people still binding the greatest President ever?

Are people still binding the greatest President ever?

A big shout-out to tonight's Trump binders.
Is Donald Trump the only politician that this has ever happened to?

There was Hitler.

Reader's Digest March 1914.
Am I following this because it entertains me?


After all, there is nothing like watching someone scream "Witchhunt!" repeatedly to remind oneself that they have no clue what a real witchhunt looks like.

Wands! Wands for every witch! Free whenever Trump screams Witchhunt!
Am I still taking part in this? Have I ever taken part in this? Is this a slow news day?


Keep calm and keep binding the bastard. 
Am I going to get angry comments and have massive defriendings because I dared to remind people about this?

Duh--of course, I will.

I, the mighty Hog Dee totally think that the President can do no wrong--remember that America is all about exploiting the weak to enrich the wealthy. 

And why am I daring to invoke the wraith of the Holy Trumpers and the Society to Build the Biggest Wall Ever!?!?

Uh...because I disagree with the actions and goals of this President--goals which still seem to be built on hate, paranoia and fear. And greed--let's not forget the greed and ego--the greatest greed and ego ever to grace the Oval Office.

Happy Trump Bind Day!

Tuesday, May 1, 2018

I have nothing (and it could have been worse) Tree-ageddon TBH edition

Previous TBH blog/ Master List/ Next TBH blog

"I have nothing. Nothing at all to write about. Who picked this subject? Oh. I assume that they mean well. They are probably are going to have a wonderful post. After all, they picked the topic. But still, I have nothing."

That is my normal response to each and every Tarot Blog Hop topic.

Well, half of them.

Well, some of them.

Well, the percentage is more than zero.

Of course, the really sad part about this one is that I was the wrangler (think magical cat herder), and I was the one who came up with the topic. And I still almost ended up with nothing.

Who would have guessed that "What I can (could) teach the world" would be such a hard topic for me to write about? Probably everyone who knows me.

After all, I came from a very nourishing environment with lots of warm fuzzy positive uplifting messages about my worth.

"You did everything wrong." "The only thing keeping you out of the nut-house is your mom." "You are an idiot." "That plan will never work." "I wish that you were never born."

In other words, I am the best example of what not to do.

(Such as "I have less than forty minutes to get this post finished because I choose to be sick as a dog yesterday, on top of all the computer problems that I have been having lately.")

Still one thing that I learned as a writer with lots of nothing to say is that the universe will deliver things to write about if you willing to let it all hang out.
Remember--even at the worst of times, it could always be worse.
So, how did the universe deliver this time? What positive message could I possibly share with the universe?

So I woke up one morning (this was the morning that an airplane lost one of its engines, had a giant hole blown out of it, and partially sucked a passenger out, later she died), read the news (or enough to see the highlight of the day), and looked outside.

(Trust me, the airplane story is important because of my long association of airplane accidents with the Lightning Struck Tower--you will see.)

It was windy. The type of day that you expect to see pigs and witches on brooms fly past the window. Hurricane force winds in a land locked state.

I was following the progress of a box blowing back and forth. I thought about going out there and grabbing it. I thought about cutting it up for the recycle. But that will involve going outside.

And I did not feel like going outside just yet.

I was more interested in transferring what I wrote the night before to the computer, editing and printing it out.

One last look outside before work...still windy.

"Hmm. Is this part of Three Witches Talk Smack or is it part of Death to the Great Gherkin?"

Print it out. Write a few things down.

Fifteen minutes later. (Maybe it was ten.) Look outside.

"Huh. The pine tree lost a branch. Oh, more than a branch. Oh dear, the entire tree has fallen over. Still it could be worse. It could have hit the house."

And that is what I can teach the world. Things can always be worse.

The first time, I heard this truth was when a semi-trailer truck drove though my dad's car at two in the morning. "It could have been worse. If it would have happened during the day, one of the kids may have been killed. After all, they play right where the car was tossed."

In the case of the tree, I could have been outside and had it land upon me. Or it could have fallen on the house (right on the corner of the house that contained the room that I was working in). The tree could have waited until we got the sidewalk replaced and destroyed a big section of that.

"It could have been worse."

There was my blog post, a long video, and endless hours of conversation about how my luck works.

I had nothing. Now, I had something. It was not uplifting. Maybe it was uplifting (it did toss bricks everywhere). Still, I had a post. Once again, nothing became something.

The only difficultly was connecting it with the Tarot. And that difficulty lasted only a few seconds because the entire day was just one giant Lightning Struck Tower day.

So there you have it--lots of nothing, a bad example of how my mind works, and me saying, "It could have been worse." Plus I finished this post with three minutes to spare. I am a shiny example of what not to do; but if you are going to do it, be positive that things could have been worse.

Previous TBH blog/ Master List/ Next TBH blog

Here is a video...because I could.

Previous TBH blog/ Master List/ Next TBH blog

Master List Tarot Blog Hop May 1st 2018

Master List for the Tarot Blog Hop 1st May 2018

The theme was "What lesson can (could) I teach the world?"

1. Morgan Drake Eckstein
2. Joanne Sprott
3. Jay Cassels
4. Meniscus Tarot (by Ania M)
5. Aisling the Bard
6. Joy Vernon
7. Karen Sealey
8. Boglarka Kiss
9. Ania M
10. Jay Cassels
11. Alison Cross
12. Robin Wood
13. Deirdre Doran
14. MarĂ­a Luisa Salazar 
15. Raine Shakti

Thanks for hopping with us. 

Saturday, April 28, 2018

And you posted that video--are you nuts? (Why you should not follow me on YouTube)

The other day, I was posting a video project to YouTube and noticed that I am far more animated than I thought I was.

Personally, I don't watch my own videos...because I am too busy working on the next project.

No, that is not true.

No, I don't watch my own videos because I spent twelve years in speech therapy when I was in school as a kid. One of the techniques used was to record what I was saying, and then play it back to me. In theory, it is supposed to help one understand the problems that the system is trying to fix.

In my case, all it did was to insure that I never watch or listen to myself unless absolutely necessary.

But still, there are those moments when I wonder what I actually filmed. 

I have no clue what I was saying, but I might have to watch to find out.
Such as some moments in the latest video project...

What could I possibly be saying that would require these faces? No one will ever know. Not even me.

Nevertheless, I am quite sure that I will get many negative reviews simply because it is one of my videos.

By the way, the most common complaint about my voice!

Thursday, April 19, 2018

Changing attitudes about marijuana in the esoteric community (can you change your mind without changing--oh yes, you can)

Over the years, I have watched the esoteric community's reactions to marijuana use change. Or not change. Or change, and then go back to the original position, which is just like it not changing in the first place with the additional fun of having proof that certain people are only interested in collecting dues and fees from you despite their claims that they are progressives and not at all stuck in conservative mindset which would totally welcome all pot smokers being burned at the stake.

My favorite incident of this type is how a few years ago, I watched one of the inspirations for the Great Gherkin tag me in a Facebook post, and then...

(Yes, the Great Gherkin is a composite monster, a Frankensteinian monster created from all the best bits of all the dubious occult leaders I have encountered over the years. You don't think that a single Big Name Occultist running a single Big Name Occult Tradition was the sole source of the Great Gherkin, did you? After all, it would be rather awesome if a single person was really that bad and manipulative, leaving the rest of the occult community safe to do business with. But no, the Great Gherkin is an archetype, an occult clone of awesome fierceness and frequency, one that appears in the genetic makeup of many of the finest occult leaders of our time. What does it take to be included into the hive mind of the Great Gherkin? Nothing more than holding a hand out asking for money while suffering Superior Tradition Disorder.)

So I am tagged in a post about marijuana, and then the Great Gherkin gets upset because not only do I weigh in; but so do other people, many of which do not see the awesome truth that all pot smokers are also violent ax murderers. Calling it a digression--a ploy to derail the many fine and excellent posts about magic occurring in their private FB group--they proudly say that it is better for everyone to have a gun, many guns, that many, many guns will prevent mass murders while pot makes people violent and unsuitable for spiritual advancement.

(Yes, that was the whole point of tagging me--to try to make me wake up to the fact that my ax murdering tendencies would totally be solved by giving me and everyone around me lots of bullets and firearms.--and that pot only made my ax murdering ways worse.)

In a fit of righteous, the Great Gherkin decided that my response ("No, you are wrong about pot making people violent") was just another point to justify kicking me out of their super and most excellent FB group. While it was not the final straw that broke the camel's back, that would have been my position on the definition of black magic (a position that they too shared a couple of days after kicking me out of paradise), they still bitterly talk about me as that Stinky Liberal Communist Leaning Pot Smoking Hippie Who Does Not Know the First Thing About Wicca and Golden Dawn Magic Despite Having Been in the System Practicing For Far Longer Than They Have...that label might need a trademark to ensure that it is only used by the right people to label the wrong people to listen to.

(In the meantime, I am barely able to prepare dinner while under the influence of sufficient amounts of THC, not alone the violent mass murders that I am supposed to be doing as a pot smoker.)

Interestingly enough, just a couple of weeks after kicking me out of their super duper greatest FB occult chat group ever, the Great Gherkin was one hundred percent in favor of legalizing marijuana, and was "the first occultist in the community to do so, having supported marijuana for years and years before anyone else did."

So why the change? Let's assume that it has nothing to do with the fact that large parts of the esoteric community actually support the legalizing of marijuana and that...

Okay, I have nothing here. If it is not jumping on the bandwagon to seem progressive and in tune with today's occult community, in order to keep collecting that sweet, sweet membership money, I have no clue. What I do know is that I have screenshots available for purchase in the kiosk that totally proves that someone was against pot, that they did not like my support of pot, and that they changed their tune after seeing that their potential membership pool had more than a few pot supporters in it.

Which they should have known already.

Having attended my fair share of classes held at occult shops, having attended my fair share of drum circles, having talked to my fair share of occultists, I have been aware of the fact that many occultists and witches smoke pot. In fact, I have heard stories that some of the biggest names in occultism, who scream that the pot is evil, have actually gone on drug benders which they and their trusted lieutenants have covered up. And I am not talking about just one person--no, this seems to be a pattern among many occult leaders who scream that the pot is bad.

Now, there are many in the occult community who are against all mind-altering drugs, including actual medicines prescribed by doctors. There are some who believe that I should not be allowed to take bipolar drugs while being a member of the occult community, not alone being allowed to take the edge off of my Inner Ax Murderer with the Wacky Weed.

But the most interesting part is watching the Big Name Occultist first banning all pot use, embracing it in the name of freedom, and then watching them going back again to condemning it after Jeffrey the Elf and the bestest President ever declared that we are going back to the successful "If you are caught with any pot at all, you will be in jail for the rest of your life" war on dangerous drugs.

(Please note that the Great Gherkin totally argues that any disagreement with the President at all makes you a traitor to the United States, one who should be hang by the neck until dead like the filthy liberal that you are.)

I am sorry, but if you can't make up your mind about the dangers of pot, I am just going to suspect that your current level of support is based not on your own opinions, but rather what you think your membership wants to hear--and that your changing opinion is more about being able to claim to be one of the people while taking the people to the cleaners.

As for myself, have I mentioned that magical pot laced cookies have sufficiently decreased the odds of me murdering you with an ax?

Happy National If You See Morgan About to Commit an Ax Murder, Please Give Him a Magical Cookie Day!

{Updated at 5:16 pm on 4/20/18: Changed "subscribed by doctors" to "prescribed by doctors"--thanks Jack Flash for catching that mistake.} 

Remember if you see Morgan acting like an ax murderer, give him a pot laced cookie. 
Want to see more stuff like this, consider encouraging me by buying a ECS script or two from me.

Here is a link to my Patreon page (show your support and sponsor me with a monthly donation.)