Tuesday, December 24, 2013

The real problem with Christmas

Spock discovers the real problem with celebrating Christmas.
Heavens knows that decorating for Xmas brings out my OCD.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

How to start a GD argument

On this week's episode of Star Wrecked--the Next Face Palm.
Bored? Have a bowl of fresh buttery popcorn? And a six pack of micro-brews? Ready to amuse yourself with a fight? Grab your dice (3d6), roll them, and use the result from the following table as your initial sentence to start a fight in your favorite pixelated Golden Dawn watering hole.

3: "I am not even a Neophyte, and I know more about Golden Dawn than the rest of you do."

4: "All Golden Dawn writers, except ABC, write books about the Golden Dawn only to make large bags of money and/or destroy all other GD Orders except their own XYZ Order."

5: "The only real genius/magician in Golden Dawn was member ABC."

6: "Adepts should act only in the following manner..."

7: "Members of XYZ Order are abandoning ship because the actions of ABC."

8: "Unicorns and glitter are the future of Golden Dawn."

9: "The form of alchemy that Golden Dawn taught was..."

10: "The Secret Chiefs are/were real, and this is the form that they take/took, and this is the esoteric Order that they currently/previously guided."

11: "The Order of the Golden Dawn never closed its doors. Member ABC became its leader, and only Order XYZ is its only legitimate descendant."

12. "The proper work of the Second and Third Orders of Golden Dawn is as follows..."

13: "All Golden Dawn Orders, except XYZ, are money making scams."

14: "I have decided to change ritual QRS."

15: "All members of Order XYZ are involved in big-ass-impossible conspiracy against ABC and/are Neo-Nazis."

16: "The only part of Golden Dawn that matters is..."

17: "The only way to properly initiate a member of the Order is..."

18: "Bleep. Peace. Harmony. Victory. Bleep."

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Lux e Tenebris

[Welcome to the last Tarot Blog Hop of 2013. The theme of this Tarot Blog Hop is "Turning Darkness into Light." The following is an excerpt of a poem that I started to work on when I saw the topic...it has fifty-six more stanzas.]

Lux e Tenebris
Light from darkness
Seventy-eight steps
A compass on the path

Crazy young fool
Smell the roses
Tame the wolf
Beware the thorn-ed abyss

Magician of the spheres
Gild yourself with power
Channel the gods
Balance the elements

Priestess of the Silver Star
Bearer of the holy chalice
Sacred scroll of the law
Embrace ebb and flow

Daughter of the Mighty Ones
Descending dove
Pregnant with potential
Best curse is mercy

Chief among the Kings
Gaze upon your domain
Beware of upstart goats
Re-invent your power

Expounder of tradition
Long unending scroll
Cryptic runes and starry letters
East looks upon the West

Twin souls of Metatron
Dreamers of the illusion
Hero is the prisoner
The prisoner is the monster

Juggernaut triumphant
 Bellowing cloud of dust
Clamor of beaten swords
Keep sight of the center

Daughter of the Flaming Sword
Mankind is the beast
Red omens signal redemption
Mind, rose, blood, storm

Lonely prophet of the Gods
Circle of light illuminates
Emptiness all around
The oasis far away beckons

Spinning forces of life
Monkey silent as a squirrel
Goal and beginning far apart
Ouroboros dancing between

Holder of the scales of Maat
Large feather, large pans,
Swift sword, fox eyes
Forty-two principles to guide

Sacrificed eye of Odin
Hidden in the dark
Rippling depths revealed
Whole world upside down

Lord of the Gates of Death
Hades' seed and harvest
Both elite and the oppressed
Underworld claims all

Daughter of the Reconcilers
Blazing fire and icy water
Stand in the place between
Life, creation, and magic arise

Lord of the Gates of Matter
Master of the horned ones
Absolute necessary evil
Prisoner holds the key

Shattered tower of the Mighty
Blazing flash of light
Nature's gravity captures
We are all in free fall

Daughter of the Firmament
So above, so below
Dust of stars animate
Small doses fortify

Ruler of ebb and flow
All started out wild
Howling, clawing, biting
Tetragrammaton is the tamer

Blazing spirit of the crucible
Arcs of influence descend
Dark wings, horned skull
Children know the maze

Spirit of the Primal Fire
Spirits cross the Bifrost
Trumpeter of the end
Rebirth comes from the ashes

Great One of the Night of Time
Four celestial watchers
Magic from Arabic image
The wands merely point

A compass on the path
Seventy-eight steps
Light from darkness
Lux e Tenebris

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Pagan Portals--Runes by Kylie Holmes (Book Review)

There is an old saying that there is only one book about the Tarot and that each writer only publishes a few pages from it. I feel the same way about books written about the Elder Futhark--the so-called Norse runes. (Actually, the runes used by the Vikings were the abbreviated sixteen rune--Younger Futhark.) And just like one encounters the same information over and over again in Tarot books (or for that matter, books about the Golden Dawn), one reads the same material over and over again in books about the runes. Therefore, when one reviews a book on one of these subjects, one tends to only focus on the few pages of unique material that the writer includes (because the base-line is almost always the same--as in if you have read one book on the subject, you have read them all).

Pagan Portals--Runes by Kylie Holmes is your typical book on runes--containing historical information on the runes, runic divinatory spreads, how to make your own rune set, basic meanings of the runes, and suggestions of how to use the runes in magic.

So ignoring the standard stuff that finds its way into every book on the runes, what sticks out?

The book is written in a conversational tone, which is common with all the books that I have read so far from this particular publisher--Moon Books. I will admit that I spent too much time in academia to be completely comfortable with the style when it comes to regular books, despite the fact that I spend a lot of my time in the blogosphere (both as a reader and a lunatic with a soapbox). Think of the style as a conversation or a letter to a friend--some people will like the tone; others won't.

In the historical section, the author includes a diagram that shows the graphic difference between the Long Branch (Danish) and Short Twig (Swedish-Norwegian) Younger Futhark runes. That is a plus. And she mentions a few historical figures who studied and kept the lore of the runes alive--figures in rune history that I was not aware of. That is also a plus.

But she also mentions the myth of Odin as if it is historical and not mythical--which touches upon a bugbear that I wish authors would not do, and that is the mixing of mythology with historical fact. And in the section where she talks about the basic meanings of the runes, she mentions on more than one occasion what the Norse ("our ancestors") believed about the runes...without ever stating her source. I suspect that her source is intuition and not a document (because I have never heard of a document covering this information--the field of runelogy is made up of best guesses)--if it is an actual document, I wish that she would have came out and cited it by name and number. The fact that I think that she is playing fast and mixing her opinions with the historical facts is a negative. (Remember that I suffered though a Bachelors in both literature and history--it tends to make me frown at the mixing of personal belief and historical facts without the writer coming straight out and stating which is which.)

Holmes also includes the Anglo-Saxon, Norwegian and Icelandic rune poems (both in their original language and their English translation) in the historical section (this is important and/or nice if you are just want to read a single book on the runes, and not have to collect rune books like I do). And I will admit that she is the first writer on the subject of runes that I can remember coming out and stating that we do not have a poem for the Elder Futhark itself (the aforementioned poems deal with the Anglo-Saxon and Younger Futharks.

Overall, if you are after one book on the subject of the runes, this book is a four out of five stars. If you are like me and own two boxes of books on the subject, it will depend upon on how important the unique bits are in filling holes in your knowledge base.

[This review was based on a pre-publication e-file copy given to me by the publisher for review purposes.]

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Hearthstone Open Full Moon ritual dates 2014

Hearthstone Community Church Open Full Moon rituals are held at the First Unitarian Church, 1400 Lafayette, Denver, Colorado. Doors open at 7 pm, and ritual starts at 7:30 pm. The rituals are held upstairs, and the Church is handicapped accessible (there is an elevator that goes up to the second floor).

Suggested donation--five dollars (to help cover operating costs and room rental).

Remaining 2013 Open Full Moons

December 13

Open Full Moon ritual dates for 2014

January 10
February 14
March 14
April 11
May 9
June 13
July 11
August 8
September 5
October 3
October 31
December 5

Hearthstone Community Church has a free monthly newsletter for Colorado residents, and Facebook page.

The Church also has a webpage with archives of the newsletters from January 1997 to present.

Monday, December 9, 2013


Occasionally, I see people ask what Macgregor Mathers did to initiate the leaders of his American lodges--believing that he performed some form of astral initiation or required them to travel to Europe to recieve their initiations. Both ideas are false, overlooking the state of esoteric lodges in that time period. All Mathers required was the signing of an oath swearing to keep the secrets of the Order and proper alliegance to him as its sumpreme leader and source of all wisdom, plus a small sum of money, and you were a properly initiated member of the Order in his eyes. Sad, but true.

Saturday, December 7, 2013

The Goetia Workbook by S. Connolly (Book Review)

One of the customs that most working magicians have been taught is the keeping of a magical journal, a record of one's magical experiments and experience. The custom goes back to Dee and Kelley--or at least, that is the point in history that the custom seems to originate from.
Most of us, including myself, just buy a blank composition book or a blank journal and proceed from there. A few suggestions on what to record have been published over the years. In my case, I was using a template that Donald Michael Kraig published in his Modern Magick book for a long time. (My template has moved away from his example, and now looks more like Dee's and Crowley's style than it does Kraig's example.)
Parts of the magical journals of Dee and Crowley have been published. In the case of Dee, there are large sections that are missing because Dee destroyed a lot of his journals to keep them out of the wrong hands (fortunately, some of the sections that he attempted to destroy survived, including a large hunk of the Enochian sessions). I have watched a couple of other working magicians destroy parts of their own magical journals; and over the years, some of my own records have been lost in various moves from residence to residence (it is what happens you do not move everything personally all by yourself).
Given the examples available to us and the cheap option of blank journal books, I never thought that I would ever give a shout-out to any blank magical journal--even a pre-formatted one, considering that the only viable publishing option is the print-on-demand route. (While a traditional publisher could print a pre-formatted blank magical journal cheaper, the truth is that a large part of the print-run would just sit in a warehouse, due to the extremely low demand for such an item...seriously, are there more than a thousand working magicians in the world at any given time?)
The Goetia Workbook by S. Connolly is a pre-formatted blank magical journal for those magicians working their way though the contact process with the Four Kings and the seventy-two Goetic Demons (or Daemons as Connolly prefers to call them--yes, they are a demonolator [daemonolator], one of those magicians who view the traditional spirits contained in the grimoires more as helper spirits than evil gone amok).
The pre-format is nice, simply for making sure that you remember to include all the important bits in your notes. And I like the fact that it has pages for each of the Four Kings and the seventy-two Goetic spirits (yes, I prefer the term "spirits"...which makes me a ?!?!). There is a space provided for any additional sigils that the spirit gives the magician, and a space to note if blood was offered (I personally use milk mixed with certain herbs as a substitute), et cetera. There is also a brief description of the powers and precautions for each spirit--my favorite being "Sitri is a lust demon and causes men and women to be passionate and get naked around one another."
But let's be honest the pre-formatting alone is not enough to justify a shout-out, so why am I suggesting that a working magician might want to consider shelling out money for something that they could do cheaper? The simple fact that you can get it as a paperback from Amazon and a hardcover from Lulu--the latter being what I would prefer. And why would that be important?
Quite simply because it has been my experience that the most important and significant encounter that one has with any given spirit is the initial contact. The basis of your entire relationship with a spirit can often be determined (typically with a lot of hindsight) from that first initial working. Therefore, with something like a run though the seventy-two Goetic spirits, one wants to make sure that the record of your working is going to be as permanent as you can get it.  
Yes, this shout-out is based simply upon the fact that I think that a working magician needs to ensure that their notes with certain operations, such as the initial contact with the Goetia, is set in as permanent form as one can accomplish. Did you really expect more from me? After all, I am a blogger who uses other people's work as an excuse to talk about things that I consider important (if you did not catch what this review is really about, re-read it again looking for the sole sentence that the entry is built around).
[This review is based on a preview file that the author lent to me.]

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Golden Dawn lodge directory project

A few years ago, I got involved in the Sanctuary of Maat as a proctor. (RIP SoM.) One of the things that I found nice about the SoM was the fact that the members could look around and see who the fellow members were in their general area. And I ended up with a small list of where people were--the list is out of date and misplaced--but it is the inspiration behind a project that I am kicking around doing this coming year...or maybe I should say, "I am doing it with or without your help--so deal with it!"

Several study groups and lodges actually formed from the SoM membership simply being able to locate each other--and I understand a few of these groups still exist. In addition, in the Denver area, we used to have a Pagan Purple Pages (unfortunately, that directory has ceased to exist...or so I believe) where one could look up the local pagan and Wiccan groups that chose to be listed.

And considering I just attended a local pagan/Wicca group meet and greet today--well, today is as good of a day to toss this idea out into public, so that the wolves can debate its merits and argue about how I am going to completely wreck the idea, and probably how someone more trust-worthy than me should do this instead.

Oh the idea?! Glad you asked.

Over the last few years, I have noticed that a lot of people ask a set of basic questions about Golden Dawn groups:

Where are the lodges and study groups located?
What group/Order is the lodge/study group affiliated with?
What is the email address of the local contact person?

In other words, they could care less about politics, trade-marks, and the claims of super-secret information that only certain groups have. All they are concerned about is location, location, location.

Therefore, I want to create a directory of where the Golden Dawn lodges and study groups are located.

Please note that this is NOT a ratings book--it would be up to the user of the directory to google the group to see what's its reputation is--if any--and to meet with the local contact person and/or membership to decide if they want to join that group. Yes, I know that some people will protest that only properly vetted and authorized lodges and groups should be included--and to them, I say, "You do not have to include any of your lodges and groups in this project if you do not want to be associated with unwashed riff-raff." Yes, this means that Robert Zink, David Griffin, Chic Cicero, and Nick Farrell would get to have groups listed in this directory, despite the fact that at least one party would argue that they should be barred from the directory.

But there is a catch--each group actually has to have a LOCAL contact person. Therefore, for instance, Nick Farrell can only act as the contact person for his local lodge or study group--he cannot act as a contact person for a group located in Denver, Colorado. If Farrell has a group in Denver, there has to a local contact person here in Denver, Colorado (or within the Denver metro area).

If I get a report that I trust, or multiple reports that the local contact person does not actually exist--I will delete the group's listing from the directory. Period. End of discussion. Likewise, if I get trusted reports that the group consists solely of the local contact person and/or just one more person, the listing gets deleted. Period. End of discussion. There will be one exception--and that is for a group just forming; basically, they state up front that they are just forming, and they will have six months or a year (I am undecided on that one) to bring their membership up to three people...there will be a notice someplace in the listing that the group is just forming.

Please note that I plan on emailing the contact person once every six months or year to ask them if the group is still active, and confirm that they are still the contact person. If no response to the email--yes, that is right--the listing is deleted.

The contact person can be listed as just a first name and a motto (if they want their last name to be kept private).

Why email addresses? Because I think that the local contact person should not have to give out their phone number to anyone that they do not want to. And we all have more than one email address, right? Likewise, the listing is for the city and general area that a group is located in. (Please note that means that one of the local so-called Denver groups would actually be listed under Lakewood and not Denver--local residents will know the general geographical difference between the two groups. If I get information that you are actually located in different city than your listing, I will adjust your listing, so be honest about the general location of your group--remember that this directory is all about location, location, location--it is not personal; we are just trying to give the applicants a general idea of what part of town you are really in.) Note that this is general area--not the exact street address (again, that information is up to the contact person to give to the applicant if they feel like it). A single web address will be optional for a listing (it can be a free blog that you update twice a year--because let's be honest, web hosting and domain names can get expensive). And there would be an appendix in the back of the directory for simple Order listings.

So as an example of a lodge listing:

USA: Colorado: Denver: North City Park

Bast Temple (lodge).
Contact: Morgan Drake Eckstein
Email: basttemple@msn.com (Subject line: Membership inquiry)
Website: http://basttemple.blogspot.com/

 And in the back, the Order listing would look like:

EOEW/BIOGD/BIORC: Evolving Order of Eclectic Ways/Ba Iset Order of the Rosy Cross (Golden Dawn in the Outer).
Website: http://isisgoldendawn.blogspot.com/
Correspondence course: Yes, available though ebook retailers in early 2014.
Principal agent: Morgan Drake Eckstein
Email:  basttemple@msn.com

Or at least, that is how I currently think that the listings would look like.

As for the question of expense of a listing and cost of the directory itself--actually both would be free.

On the assembling end, I am going to call this a contribution to the greater Golden Dawn community...bascially, I am donating my time and energy to create the directory.

And on the applicant's end, I picture the final product as a free ebook that is distributed though Smashwords (and therefore, Barnes and Noble, Kobo, Apple's iBook store, and the other outlets in the Smashwords distribution program). I would like to upload it to Amazon also, BUT Amazon does not allow perma-free ebooks--therefore, that is not going to happen. The fact that it is not going to be available though Amazon is minor issue; after all, you can download your preferred ebook format from Smashwords without the hassle of creating an account (or at least until they update the site--we will have to see if that is still true after the upcoming site update).

So now that I tossed this idea out there, let the feeding frenzy of how wrong I am occur in my comment section (try to keep the language clean).

As if you want a listing despite the fact that the project is flawed, and my rules unacceptable, just drop me an email at basttemple@msn.com (Subject line: Directory listing) with the necessary information.

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Am I a Demonolator?

Looking over my list of things I want to blog about in the near future, I realized that the question of "Am I a Demonolator?" is going to come up at some point...so I just as well get it over with.

And in all honesty, most of my regular readers and friends have already made up their minds about this question--for those people who feel that they already know the answer, feel free to wander off because nothing that I am about to say is going to change your mind.

Now, for the rest of you, mainly those who just accidently stumbled across this blog while googling "demonolatry"...

I do not consider myself to be a demonolator. But I can see how someone might believe that I am. And they might be right...of course, that last part probably needs some explanation. So here goes...

My preferred definition of Demonolatry is the ACTIVE worship of demons and/or the use of entities commonly known as demons to perform magic as the PRINCIPAL AGENT in the ritual and/or the consulting of demons as the PRINCIPAL SOURCE to learn magical techniques.

Please note my emphasis on the "active" part. I don't consider the passive use of demons in magic to be demonolatry. And there is a lot of passive use of demons in ceremonial magic, even in the holy grimoiric and Golden Dawn varieties. Also note my emphasis on demons having to be the "principal agent" or "principal source."

By "principal agent," I mean that the highest name used in a ritual or spell is actually the name of entity classified by the grimoires or folklore as a demon. In other words, the controlling force in the ritual is a demon, not one of the Christian/Hebrew names of God, nor is it a pagan deity. Please note that if the pagan deity has been demonized by the Church, then it is a demon if you are using the grimoire version of the deity--but not a demon if you are using a pagan version of the deity.

And by "principal source," I mean that you are calling directly on the demon, without using compulsion of the Christian/Hebrew godnames, and using a demon as the principal agent to control and empower the ritual.

The reason for this emphasis is the simple fact that modern-day Christianity is basically the King James translation of the Bible with a dollop of Dante and Milton tossed in for good measure--basically, any god other than Jesus (and his Father) is a demon, and goddesses are automatically demonesses. Yes, there are exceptions, but at the most severe level--all magicians are demonolators as far as radical Christianity is concerned. (In fact, the more radical the sect of Christianity, the more likely that only Christians of a particular sect are considered to be truly saved Christians, with the majority of Christians also being Satanists simply because they do not belong to the right church.) Therefore, if you are a magician, then you too are a demonolator to quite a few people...people whose opinions I generally ignore.

So my dear reader, you can see how some people could consider my worship of Bast as proof that I am a demonolator by their definition of the terms; but by my definition, I am not even close to being a demonolator because I am using a non-Milton/non-grimoiric form of Bast. (For the non-literate people: Milton classified all the Ancient Egyptian deities as fallen angels serving in Lucifer's war machine--a point that annoys me as a modern pagan.)

There is also a guilt by association that some might accuse me of. Yes, I have friends in the demonolator community. Yes, I have borrowed working techniques and ideas from some of them. But if you insist on guilt by association, then I am also a radical member of the Tea Party branch of the Republican party who believes that all laws should be based solely on the Bible because some of my friends on Facebook believe such things. Therefore, guilt by association has to be tossed out...because everyone is guilty of something by that standard.

Another related question is: Are demonolators Satanists? To this one, I always have to ask: Have you met and encountered first-hand many Satanists? Because those people who brag about being Satanists generally only worship themselves and/or are doing it for pure shock value, and would not know what a demon was if it bit them in the ass. Therefore, even if I was a demonolator, I would not want to be called a Satanist. (This connection is along the lines of saying that all users of the Elder Futhark [runes] are Neo-Nazis--a suggestion that might get you punched in the face by a big bearded Viking dude.) Of course, as a magician, according to radical Christians, I am automatically a Satanist even if I do not believe in his existence--therefore, I suppose to many people demonolators are automatically Satanists, even if the idea would get them punched in the face at some point. And please note that one really needs to know the context that the name/term Satan is used by a demonolator to be able to answer this question...just for that individual (there is no blanket answer here as far as I am concerned)--plus, I know one demonolator that uses Lilith as their Principal Agent--that makes them a Lilithist, not a Satanist (they like to point out that Satan in the Old Testament is a name of an office, and not an individual--therefore worshipping Satan is like worshipping a nameless lawyer).

And if you read this far, I bet that you still have the same opinion on whether or not, I am a demonolator as you did before you started reading it. The demonolators and radical Christians who thought that I was a closet demonolator before still think that--pointing out gleefully that I am just playing word games here. The pagans and Wiccans who thought that I was a pagan and/or Wicca are still thinking that. And my three favorite critics are still considering screaming at the top of their lungs that I am a very evil man. In other words, no opinion has ever been changed by a blog post...simply because you are not going to use my definition of demonolator if it does not already fit your world view. Which begs the question of: Why even bother? Answer: I love Google.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Proper Samhain

Bribes might change our opinion of your numptiness.
Exactly one year ago, someone posted a post on one of the forums wishing everyone a Happy Proper Samhain--which made me aware of this particular issue that was silently bubbling in the magical community. So what the hell is "Proper Samhain"? According to some people, Samhain should be celebrated on the day that falls exactly between the Fall Equinox and Winter Solistice--or when the Sun is in the fifteenth degree of Scorpio (the "astronomical Samhain" or "astrological Samhain")--November 6 or 7 this particular year (depending upon where you live).

And my response to this idea that everyone, other than these enlightened armchair occultists, are doing Samhain on the wrong day? Poppycock!!!

Honestly, my opinion is that the "Proper Samhain" theory was created by a bunch of people who decided that they have to be smarter than practicing Wiccans and pagans, especially the sainted Gerald Gardner, the founder of Wicca. The theory sounds good on paper, but really does not hold water when it comes to actual practice? No, it does not.

For one thing, the "solar-astronomical" Sabbaths, the Equinoxes and Solstices, are known as "Lesser Sabbaths." The "Greater Sabbaths" are all planting/harvesting/fertility holidays. Therefore, a proper astrological correct Samhain instantly becomes a Lesser Sabbath, a mere point on the journey of the sun though the zodiac--in other words, something other than solar position makes Samhain what it is--a Greater Sabbath.

Secondly, the theory ignores the non-universality of the observance of the Sabbaths. The holidays that the Sabbaths are based on were not practiced everywhere; and more importantly, when they were practiced, they were based on local agricultural conditions...or some local religious observance.

In other words, local conditions trump (override) the astrological theory. Your first harvest ritual corresponds to when your first harvest actually happens in your local neighborhood--not when the sun is in a particular degree of the zodiac. Likewise, your last harvest (aka Samhain) occurs when your local growing conditions cease to be suitable to leave the majority of the crop out in the fields (please note that there are some winter crops that can be harvested or planted despite the drop in temperatures). In fact, last harvest can vary from year to year--last year, my own last harvest occurred in late November--this year, it was mid-October. The only reason that modern-day Wicca gets away with fixed dates for the Sabbaths is that most of us are not farmers or gardeners anymore--but that still does not make the astrological version more valid than the farming/fertility version of the Sabbaths.

And in the case of Samhain (All Hallows Eve--Halloween), it occurs on a day that several cultures (including the much-hated Catholic culture) consider preceding a feast day celebrating the honored dead. This is another form of local condition overriding the astrological theory. Then again, that may be the real reason that certain armchair occultists want to move the celebration to a different day--in their minds, we can't share anything in common with the hated oppressors of the pagan religions...despite the fact that the Church lifted that particular feast day directly from the pagans themselves with us merely reclaiming it as our own in modern times.

So Happy Proper Astrological Samhain! to all the armchair occultists. And stay out of my garden!

October 2013 Third most read month ever

The cat version of Thriller.
Looking over my numbers (stats), I see that last month (October 2013) is now my third most read month since this blog started in 2007. Last month scored 10,606 page views--beating out the previous third most read month, November 2010, which had 8,523 page views. And sometime on October 14, 2013, I passed two hundred page views overall for this little cynical blog.

So what does this all mean? People like cat pictures and poetry better than snarkiness? Or does it mean that snarkiness and shaming the entire Golden Dawn community, along with unhealthy battles in one's comment section, is the real attention getter? (Yes, I am still only at forty percent of the page views of the blog that claims to be the most read Golden Dawn blog ever--a blog that I was checking the comment section three times a day during several ugly discussions...and I suspect a whole bunch of other people were doing that also--in which case, their claim of having the biggest Golden Dawn audience is vastly inflated.)

As for those people who do not like poetry and cat pictures, you are safe for a week...maybe. After all, the holiday season is coming up and that means cats dressed as Santa, doesn't it? Plus you know that you want to read a poem entitled "When elves attack."

But don't worry, I also plan on writing some stuff about Golden Dawn and magic really soon...because this blog is supposed to be about the Golden Dawn system of spiritual and magical attainment (plus some Wicca...and some New Age stuff...and anything else I choose to write about...because after all, it is my blog).

Are you sure that spiritual means what you think it does?

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Tarot Love

Welcome to this edition of the Tarot Blog Hop. Today's topic is Love. And while there is a part of me that wants to talk about romantic card spreads--it is a really small part and easily beat up by the part of me that loves collecting Tarot cards and pictures of decks that I do not own yet.

One of the things that I really love about Tarot is the sheer amount of artistic creativity that has been poured into the Tarot over the last few decades. In part, this has happened because of technological advances--in fact with the advent of print-on-demand, I expect there to be an explosion of new artistic Tarot decks (some of which will only sell a handful of copies...and so it goes).

So let's take a look at some of the artwork that people have done Tarot-wise.

For the purposes of this post, I am resorting myself to the Sun card--I could have chosen any of the cards to feature today, but I recently saw a version of the Sun card that really made me want to talk about the Sun card. So here goes...

Vampire Tarot.
This version of the Sun card from the Vampire Tarot I find very interesting. Most Tarot decks portray the Sun card in a hopeful positive manner. Not this deck, this version is, well exactly how a vampire would look upon the sun, as a destructive force and quite life threatening.

Now, while the Vampire Tarot version of the Sun made have determined the choice of card today, don't blame that deck completely for my choosing of this Major Arcana for our tour today.

From the Secret Tarot.
The Secret Tarot is my current deck of choice to read with. And it has one of the most creepy Sun cards in it. Now, maybe I am just super-sensitive, but I want to say that there are a lot of creepy Sun cards out there--aka lots of naked children. Is it just me? Or are there a lot of creepy Sun cards out there? (Feel free to answer that one in the comment section.)

From the Sephiroth Tarot.
This one is not as creepy...unless you find naked angels creepy...which some people might. I do like this deck because it has a (faulty) cheat for remembering where the Major Arcana are located on the Tree of Life.

The artwork is quite nice on this version (Un Mei, I believe that it is from); plus there is a small lion cub--you must love lion cubs, especially if you are like me and work with Bast on a regular basis.

This card is from an Oracle deck--the Madame Endora, I think. I like it because of the mix of Egyptian and the art style. Therefore, while Oracle decks are not really Tarot decks (or that is the answer that I am using today), I am including this card in today's tour of Tarot artwork.

This card from the Adflatus deck (?) is a little busy, but cheerful. I am not completely comfortable with the lower half of the card, but it does have its own particular meaning as you probably can quickly grok.

The direction of the zodiac wheel in this version of the Sun card--from the Gilded Tarot--might disturb some people. Especially those people who like to argue about the placement of the zodiac in a Golden Dawn lodge.

It is a mouse-kangaroo...a mouroo...a kanouse...a whatever. I like it--it is whimsical.

Here is another whimsical Sun card. This one is from the rather expensive Hello Kitty Tarot deck. Should kids play with Tarot cards? Maybe, maybe not. But if you own a copy of this deck, the answer is a screaming Nnnnoooooo!!! (This is one of the most expensive decks that I have looked at in recent days.)

What version of the Sun card is my favorite? Oh, that is just a silly question, isn't it? My own version, of course.

After all, what type of artist would I be if I did not like my version the most of all? Of course, I may never finish my Monkey Tarot deck--but darn it, this version of the Sun card is my all time favorite Sun card.

So what version of the Sun card is your favorite?

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Happy Halloween! (31 Days of Halloween Kitties Day 31 Year 3)

Oh, hi there.
 Yes, I realize that it is really early for this post, and following right on the heels of my previous one, but it is do it now or forget it. (Why? Because the Tarot Blog Hop post goes live at eight in the morning.)
What Halloween is really about--candy!!!
 In my opinion, Halloween is all about the candy--which you have to share with the cats because...well, because you just have to share the candy with the cats. Not that the cats actually eat the candy; but it makes such a nice cat toy, they just must have some of it to play with.
My cookies as well as everything else I try to eat.
 And cookies, I could go for a few cookies. Of course, what is a cookie if it is not touched by a cat? I don't know either.
So beautiful Pumpkin Kitties.
 I just think that this is an awesome picture of two kittens in a pumpkin.
Yes, I am looking at you.
 I will admit that if a human looked like this, we would be scared for our lives.
Smile like the psycho that you are.
Occasionally, I smile like this...typically when the Jehovah Witnesses come to the door to try to save my pagan soul. Only one of my cats ever wants to talk to them...and I think it is because he thinks that he can convert them over to worshipping Bast.

Happy Halloween everyone!!!

Justice (31-HP Day 31)

[Today, I am pulling a poem from my ebook Shakespeare's Monkey--this poem written about five or six years ago in a creative writing class--it was the first time that I realized that semi-poetic form was a good story telling form for me.]

You fool
Piss me off
Do me wrong
You have no idea
You laugh
Think you’re scot-free
And me powerless
You wish

Dead of night
Storm threatens
Lightning broods
My power gathers

Tombstone altar
Ancient book
Tattered robe
Yew wand

Harness and yoke
My anger
My rage
My power

Aim at your skull
Aim at your blood
Aim at your heart
Anger smashes

You think you’re safe
You idiot
You fool
You wish

Do me wrong
You will pay
A pound of flesh
An eye for an eye

Be careful
Look both ways
Black cat watching
Funeral waiting

What will it be
A bus crash
A sniper
A heart attack

The wheel spins
Your fate sealed
Your doom beckons
Your death engulfs you

You made a mistake
Wronged me
Bottom line
Don’t mess with a sorcerer

Need no costume (31 Days of Halloween Kitties Day 30 Year 3)

Please keep your cat inside this Halloween.
First, the public service reminder:

Please remember that there are some sick people out there who might hurt your cat if they catch it outside this Halloween. Keep your cat safe--keep them inside for Halloween.

And now onto today's Halloween kitties. Here we have several cats starring on real life horror movies, mainly as zombies or psychics who can see your impeding doom. There is also one that is pretending to be a road runner that I thought was simply too cute not to use.

Zombie Kitty needs a hug.

Meep! says the Road Runner Kitty.

I see an ax murderer.

Another Zombie Kitty.

Halloween Cat exercises.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Heart screams (31-HP Day 30)

[Warning--trigger: abuse]

You say you love me
You lie, my heart screams
You say you won't hurt me
Better stay two arm lengths away

What scarier?
An empty Wal-Mart?
A Wal-Mart full of people?
It is a toss up

A pan dropped on the floor
My heart races for an hour
Never been in combat
Must be crazy

Not abuse at all
Just a really bad kid
Fear, blood and pain
Perfectly normal childhood

Not allowed to complain
Continuous sacrifice
Everyone else more important
Must do as they wish

The tired greyness
Millstone around my neck
Locked in my own mind
Unable to speak

Must be crazy
Perfectly normal childhood
Just a really bad kid
After all, you would not lie

Must not talk about this
Perfect family
Not abuse at all
You lie, my heart screams

Target worships Khnum (31 Days of Halloween Kitties Day 29 Year 3)

Kitty makes a cute Khnum.
If you have been on Facebook lately, you have probably seen this picture. Target is using it in one of their sponsored posts (aka an ad) about the holiday costume contest that they are running this year--"Dress up you pet and embarrass them on the internet." I really love this picture--kitty is dressed up as Khnum. I have to love that--my wife is a potter (her pottery store is represented in the sidebar gadget to the right of this post).

Monday, October 28, 2013

Hollywood reboot (31-HP Day 29)

Paid good money
Stood in line forever
Made new friends
Just to be first to learn
How horrible it was

Eyes blinded
That train wreck
My favorite book ruined
Can't Hollywood read?
Boy, did it blow

What a waste
My precious time
Gone down the drain
Could have stayed home
Gone to bed on time

I tweet, I blog
I Facebook, I meme
Ranting and raving
Foaming at mouth
Minus a million stars

Never again
Will I trust
Stupid, dumb Hollywood
To treat a beloved book
With the proper respect

What? No kidding?
Someone special and nice
Just brought the movie rights
To my favorite story--Alien XYZ
I can't wait to see it!

Grumpy kitty bear (31 Days of Halloween Kitties Day 28 Year 3)

This is animal abuse, right?

This kitty looks so thrilled to be dressed up as a bear? a lion? an annoyed cat? Yes, it is that last one.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Mother, may I? (31-HP Day 28)

You come asking
Questioning and begging
Seeking an answer
Crossing my palm
With silver coins

Shuffle and flip
Pasteboard images
Messages and truth
Spirit communication
Divine wisdom

Your eyes blind
Your ears deaf
Ignoring reality
Your mind set
Could be home

Bits and pieces
Wrenched out
Of proper context
Only heard
Is what you want

Seeking agreement
Looking for a goat
Your course is set
Advice you need not
Permission sought

I see no good
Coming from this
Outside my fee
You are doomed
Spirits annoyed

Go forth
Do your worst
Blame the cards
Blame the reader
Anyone, but yourself

Stroller kitty (31 Days of Halloween Kitties Day 27 Year 3)

Candy for the little baby.
Here is a perfect costume for those lazy cats who want to go trick or treating, but are too lazy to walk door to door under their own power. Would consider giving this darling some kitty treats? Or would you risk the wraith of unhappy baby?

Send me a muse (HP-31 Day 27)

[Inspired by classical mythology]

Mighty Apollo, shining one
Send me your muses to inspire and enlighten me
To quicken my thoughts and guide my hand
As I pick up pen and paper, and keyboard too
To write and entertain, to convince and inform.

Calliope, bearer of the wax tablet
Guide my hand and steady my mind
When I bend my attention
To the writing of epics
And the woobly bits of science.

Euterpe, bearer of the double flute
Guide my hand and attune my ear
When I form lyric poetry
Forming the medicine of the mind
And distilling the magic of the soul.

Erato, bearer of the small lyre
Guide my hand and enflame my heart
When I inscribe erotic enchantments
Of flaming desires and heaving bosoms
Of love overcoming all obstacles.

Melpomene, wearer of the frowning mask
Guide my hand and humble my soul
When I record tragedies great and small
Birth, death, and the life between
All is sorrow, all is waste.

Thalia, wearer of the laughing mask
Guide my hand and quicken my tongue
When I become the jester among the grim
Precious stones, metals rare, exotic life
None are as valuable as a smile.

Polyhymnia, veiled thinker
Guide my hand and correct my soul
When I expound upon sublime mysteries
Heaven, hell, purgatory, all the manifold worlds
Reflect the truths of the human spirit.

Teripsichore, bearer of the large lyre
Guide my hand and expand my breath
When I write of songs and dancing
Gravity and motion, cause and effect
All things spring from the first point.

Clio, bearer of the ancient scroll
Guide my hand and sharpen my reason
When I trend upon the march of history
Of great men and the myth of progress
Coincidence and flawed minds drive us all.

Urania, bearer of the celestial globe
Guide my hand and extend my imagination
When I create stellar empires and alien civilizations
And myths of star ships crossing the abyss
The stars incline, they do not compel.

Oh mighty Apollo, shining one
Oh great muses, daughters of lightning
I call upon you to inspire and enlighten
For I am a writer, an artist, a creator
A child of the imagination with ink-stained hands.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Eaten by a pumpkin (31 Days of Halloween Kitties Day 26 Year 3)

A little help here please.
Poor kitty! And I am talking about the one in the pumpkin, not the one that I hear crying in the other room about her food bowl being empty. Yes, this poor Halloween kitty has been eaten by a pumpkin...which provides us a complete circle of life when you stop to think about it.

Pumpkins eat cats; cats eat squirrels; squirrels eat pumpkins.

See a complete circle of life, much like rock, paper, scissors. Ok, maybe I am just weird.

And here is a bonus picture of a squirrel eating a Jack O'Lantern.

Pumpkin eating squirrel.

Friday, October 25, 2013

Trade secrets (31-HP Day 26)

Coffee stained
Enciphered and encoded
Old and browned
Handwritten recipes

Weigh and measure
Pound and dollop
Pinch and handful
Exactness counts

Fresh berries
Crushed and mashed
Staining hands
Blue and purple

Fresh onions
Skinned and peeled
Tears forming
Yellows and tans

Cactus lobes
Smuggled in a box
Covered with beetles
A delicate red

Pound of ancient
Dried up mummy
Such a delicious
Shade of brown

Old ways remembered
An artist's craft
Original colors
All handmade

Drunk or death trap (31 Days of Halloween Kitties Day 25 Year 3)

Drunk kitty debates having a snack.
Is it a drunk kitty dressed as a lamp shade? (I think that it is a lamp shade...if it is not a lamp shade, I have no clue what it is actually supposed to be.) Or a lamp shade death trap for birdie? Or both? I hope that the photographer rescued the bird--though one has to wonder why you would not rescue the bird from the impeding cat of doom, rather than take a picture...then again, I have known a couple of birds that were quite good at defending themselves (to the point where you wondered if you might have to take the cat to the vet to stitch up their nose).

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Lucky penny #1 (31-HP Day 25)

Go ahead and share the lucky penny.
Here is a lucky penny
Pass it on and on
If you don't,
Imps will invade
Your underwear drawer

Here is a lucky email
Forward it to five more
Multiplied by five squared
If you don't,
No more puppies

Here is a lucky elephant
Pass it on to a friend
Never mind your back
And just duct tape the hernia
After all, it is a lucky elephant

[This poem is part of my ebook, Grandma' Broom and Other Witchy Poems available on Amazon.]

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Another death at my house (31-HP Day 24 & 31 Days of Halloween Kitties Day 23)

A picture of Merlin from the Presidential election.
Apologies to both those who have been following the 31 Halloween Poems and/or year three of 31 Days of Halloween Kitties, but I am a little off today. Last night, one of my cats, Merlin passed away in his sleep. He had been ill for awhile, and try as we might he wasn't getting any better despite getting medicine from the vet.

This afternoon, me and my wife buried him out in the yard near a stand of catnip--he was the biggest catnip fiend in the house. So this is the fifth cat that is buried out in the yard (the seventh that has died here since we brought the house eleven years ago). The cat ghosts here outnumber the human ghosts.

Speaking of human ghosts, today I learned of an expensive (twelve dollars for a basic search) website to see if someone had died in your house. It is only for the United States; and no, I did not attempt a search...because twelve bucks for a basic search seems a little pricey to me (and I am not sure how reliable it would be--after all, I know that there are still a lot of records that have not been digitalized...thanks to my time in the UCD history department and researching stuff at the Western History collection at the Denver Public Library).

So hopefully, I am back on my game tomorrow, and will return you to back to the regularly scheduled programs of poems and cat pictures. And if not, I know that you will understand.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Select models (31-HP Day 23)

All types of models
We have today
Slim to husky
Wide range of colors
Basic blacks,
Whites and greys
And more exotic reds

Some select models
Are self-sufficient
Needing only kitchen
And bathroom privileges
Perfect for workers
Gone for endless hours
Operate best in twos

Some select models
Are mischievous
Impish souls
Tricking all in the house
Quality checking
Softness of beds
And toilet paper

Some select models
Are fabulous
And show stoppers
A little extra cost
A lot of extra care
Beauty has a price

Some select models
Are coddlers
Who will greet you
After a long day
Insisting relaxation
And heart-felt kisses
Reduce stress levels

What model is this?
No way to tell
Until you get home
Cats much like women
Rely on appearance
To lure you in
Later surprising you
With their secrets

Witch apprentice (31 Days of Halloween Kitties Day 22 Year 3)

Is your cat your witch apprentice?
Sometimes I think that my cats are taking notes while I am doing rituals. Like yesterday, during my daily performance of the Lesser rituals and the Middle Pillar, the two youngest cats (they are both three years old--and brothers) just sat there and watched me. I am positive that they were taking notes, and judging me on my performance. Now, there are some that might say that they are learning magic from me, and therefore are apprentices. My personal view is that they are probably Secret Chiefs (as my regular readers know).

Monday, October 21, 2013

Joy-ride (31-HP Day 22)

It will be fun!
Live a little!
Don't be a muggle!

Not fun
Could die
Muggles not bad

Everyone does it!
Need to see London!
Perfectly safe!

See no one else
More like barf over London
Almost hit a jet

Nice broom!
You're a natural!

Discontinued Pam-Am 93
Fire hazard
Hanging upside down

Ain't this fun?
Look muggles!
Let's buzz them!

It is horrible
Let's get caught
They had cameras

Don't worry!
Muggles easily confused!
What's instant-gram?

We're so grounded
Viral photos
All over the news

Oh dear!
They look upset!
It is his fault!

Please ground me
I barfed a whole lot
All over London

Witchcraft starter kit (31 Days of Halloween Kitties Day 21 Year 3)

Just add a cat and you are a witch!
Today, we can joke about this--just have a black cat and you are a witch. But that has not always been a joke, it seems (based on the reading I have done) that owning a cat during the Middle Ages was enough to get you labeled as a witch. Sad, it was. Nowadays, owning a cat, or a dozen, will generally just mean that you are a crazy cat lady/man who posts a lot of cats pictures on Facebook.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Cthulhu oh gee (31-HP Day 21)

I am Cthulhu
Oh gee, I am
Large and green
Crushing buildings
Sinking boats
Stomping humans
Long before
That other guy

Oh gee, I am
Sleeping beneath
The wide Pacific.
Radioactive breath
I need not.
Broadcast madness
Fill the asylums
In my sleep

Throw planes at me
I eat them
Tanks make nice shoes
Atomic weapons
Make me laugh
I am an Elder God
An Old One
Not some young upstart

Cthulhu I am
The original bad
You are insignificant
For I am
Cthulhu oh gee
The original Godzilla
Accept no substitutes
Not even in Japan

Cats disguised as household items (31 Days of Halloween Kitties Day 20 Year 3)

Yes, random necessities can kill you.  
You are being watched. Your psychopath of a cat has disguised itself as one of the things in your house. Perhaps as you toilet paper, perhaps as your paper towels, perhaps as your favorite sweater. And your cat waits, knowing that sooner or later, you have to use the basic necessities and then, gottacha!!!

Beware that the toilet paper and paper towels are plotting against you.
But don't worry--karma is a funny gal. Occasionally, the feared psychocat gets what they deserve and their carefully planned trap gets them instead. Laugh at the cat trapped in the paper bag while you can, for cats have nine lives and know where you sleep.

Occasionally the paper bag wins.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Today's miracle index (31-HP Day 20)

Chances of rapture occurring
Same as Ragnarok today
Chances of raining bacon
One in egg-zillion

Hell becoming colder
Than a witch's tit
About the same
As Nifelhelm warming up
To a tepid cup of tea

Politicians getting along
And doing their jobs
What exactly are politicians
Supposed to be doing anyways?

Odds of raining frogs
And seas of boiling blood
Equal to California sinking
And Atlantis rising upwards

Jewish messiah knocking
At thy door unlikely
As is the odd chance
That an UFO will land
And find intelligent life

As for me finishing
That damn overdue article
And sending it to the editor
The chances of that
Are equally dim today

Colonel Meow (31 Days of Halloween Kitties Day 19 Year 3)

Colonel Meow is a scary looking cat.
I like Colonel Meow. Not only is he a distinguished looking cat...ok, slightly scary looking cat--he is also a world famous rescue. Yes, Colonel Meow started off as a rescue. His human, Anne Marie Avey, adopted him from a Seattle Washington chapter of the Himalayan and Persian Society in 2011. I have seen some of the shelter pictures of Colonel Meow, and he was in bad shape when he arrived. Since being rescued he has gone onto internet fame, and even been in a cell-phone commercial. And best of all, you can be one of his minions on Face book.

Friday, October 18, 2013

My funny voice (31-HP Day 19)

[Please note that after twelve years of speech therapy, I still have problems pronouncing certain words correctly.]

Speak funny
You say I do
Mocking how I talk

Am I retarded?
Brain damaged?
Unworthy of being heard?

My voice an excuse
And ready target
For your abuse

Shame should make
Me quiet as a mouse
Sorry to disappoint

I roar and thunder
An opinionated troll
With a standing soapbox

Ignore my voice
I use my pen
Full of poison ink

My voice enables
I am the jester
And the howling lunatic

I stand in
The center of attention
Hogging the spotlight

Yes, I speak funny
So did my grandparents
Their mouths full of Yiddish

[And for those of my readers, who have never heard my speaking voice, I present the following video.]

What scary tales do cats tell one another (31 Days of Halloween Kitties Day 18 Year 3)

Kitties tell scary Halloween stories to one another.
Occasionally, I wonder what type of stories that cats would tell to one another. I imagine their stories are very different than ours. For instance, take the idea of the rapture--that magical moment when all the good Christians are taken up directly into heaven...leaving their cats behind. From a cat's viewpoint, this is a major disaster (and not desired at all)--for this is a significant drop in the number of people capable of operating the can opener--some cats could starve to death if the rapture actually occurred. By this token, one can understand why some Christians believe that all cats are Satanists (not true, they are children of Bast, an Ancient Egyptian goddess...therefore, they are New Agers at worst), and why cats insist on pooping in their shoes.

Most of the ghosts that I hear in the house are actually just the cats.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Bully time (31-HP Day 18)

[This poem was inspired by something I read by Wil Wheaton. Warning: Triggers--abuse and bullying--or maybe it is just me...because I am writing about my own bully.]

Your eyes lit up
First time you saw me
Short, thin, talking funny
A perfect target for abuse

I disliked you
I hated you
I loathed you
You were the perfect bully

I knew not your pain
I knew not your past
No clue about your home
How could I?
No friend, you were

New in town, I was
Unhappy at home
Miserable in school
With you as the cherry on top

Name calling
Mocking my voice and strangeness
Shower room pranks
You were the perfect bully

You remember this fondly
As you think I should too
Not with rage
And anger bubbling
Venom in my veins

Wish you harm, I do
Wish you restraint
And unhappiness
When I remember the past

Yet I must thank you
Others have tried
To control and bully me
To bend me to their will

But they are not you
And I have grown
Confident in my abilities
To endure abuse and threats
For I learned this at your hands

[Needless to say, bullying is wrong, even if it made me stronger.]

Kitty being stalked by monster (31 Days of Halloween Kitties Day 17 Year 3)

Hide, the monster is coming to get you.
Here is a picture that tells a story. Poor kitty hiding from a monster, obviously one of the qlippoth, while its master does nothing to help (seriously, put down the camera and save your cat!). Of course, this is the way my cats used to react to my god-daughter when she used to visit--one of the nicknames for my god-daughter was monster.

(In all fairness, I should probably refer to her as my ex-god-daughter...long story, mostly boring, all you need to know is that I am completely and wholly at fault--which is also the reason that I am now a former elected GD officer, who will never serve in an elected office ever again.)

For more cats dressed up in costumes (monster costumes, that is), check out this post by the Bloggess (her poor kitty).

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Results not typical (31-HP Day 17)

A full head of hair
In just seven days
Be at your ideal weight
In just ten days

Never suffer road rage
Ever again
Be a sexual magnet
With just one pill

We have what you need
For a small princely sum
Ointments, tonics, pills,
Creams and treatments

It is a modern day miracle
The latest advance in science
Endorsed by doctors
Celebrities and athletes alike

As seen on TV
Magazines and the internet
Would commercials lie to you?
Trust us, we're honest

Never mind the constant
Peeing and falling off
Of your favorite body parts
And the rare sudden blindness

It is what you want
Your greatest desire
Never mind the expense
And unseemly  side-effects

Step right up and buy it now
Hand us your coin
And take your snake-oil
Ignoring the fine print

Results not typical
Paid celebrity endorsement
Side-effects may kill you
No FDA approval

The ferals I have watched over (31 Days of Halloween Kitties Day 16 Year 3)

It is National Feral Cat Day.
Today is National Feral Cat Day...or as I like to point out to people, just another day in the life of a colony caretaker.

I did not wake up one morning and say, "Gee, I want a bunch of cats to be both happy to see me and fearful of my presence at the same time." But that is what happened when my wife and I brought our house.

Now, I was technically a rescuer before that point. I had taken in Talisman (Little Miss Dynamite) along with her brother Lucifer (Morning Star) a few years before. Lucifer was a rough cat; his previous owner was a biker who used to wrestle with him as if he was a big dog. There were several occasions that Lucifer clawed me across the face, and a lot of people thought he should be put to sleep due to his violent reactions to simple play. I exercised a lot of patience and retraining techniques--over the years I had him, he mellowed out. Talisman would have been abandoned if I would not have agreed to take her along with her brother...turns out that she was pregnant, so that would have been...well, a lot more feral cats if I had not stepped in.

The colony my wife and I inherited consisted of a male and female cat, and periodic litter of kittens. Sandy and Blackie never completely trusted me. Blackie ended up being put to sleep because he was diseased. But Sandy lived for several years on our property after we got her fixed, along with one of her daughters. Sandy eventually died of injuries (she would not let anyone get close enough to take her to the vet), and her daughter was displaced by a shift in the leadership of the colony (Sandy was the original top cat in it).

Four of the indoor cats that I own are kittens from feral mothers (two from Sandy, two from another feral mother who just showed up one day). Both Devil Kitty, the first that we rescued from the colony (or rather my wife rescued her), and three legged Princess Kitty are daughters from Sandy. And three years ago, we added to more cats to the pride from another feral mother (who just showed up one day with kittens in tow).

So for me, every day I live with the results of people just abandoning unfixed cats and letting them fend for themselves. Every day is Feral Cat Day in my universe.

Pirate Kitty is the son of a feral cat.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

My sweet voice (31-HP Day 16)

Deep in my brain
The earworms squirm
A never ending loop
I must let the lyrics out
"Please don't."

My voice rough
At first wobble
But it soon warms up
I sing, I sing
"Shut up! Just shut up!"

Angels cry
When I sing
My beautiful voice
Ringing though the cosmos
"You are killing angels."

Dogs join in
A chorus of kindred spirits
United in harmony
Singing across the land
"You are scaring the cats."

My voice so sweet
Maybe I should audition
Become a big star
Make big bucks
"I love you--please shut up!"

Sing I do
*Whack! Whack! Whack!*
Hey, I was singing--
"Exactly." *Whack!*
Ok, ok, I will shut up

Psycho Cats (31 Days of Halloween Kitties Day 15 Year 3)

Next time on Ghost Hunters...uh, this looks like a crime about to happen.
There is this internet rumor...which also occasionally appears in print also...that cats are psycho and might be plotting to kill you and all your loved one. Now, let's look at the photographic evidence. First picture might be a ghost kitty...or maybe a psycho cat.

Psycho Cat gets eight sequels.
Moving on to our second piece of evidence...this looks like hearsay. Surely, kitty did not go all psycho on doggy and say that death would not stop them.

Someday the cat will succeed in killing someone.
Our third and final piece of evidence today--ok, yes, it does look little strange, but maybe the cat was in the wrong place at the wrong time and just stumbled across a dead body.

These pictures prove nothing!

And if you are reading this, please call the cops because my cats are holding me hostage.